Small child

How to bring up a hero - that is what mothers cannot do

How to bring up a hero - that is what mothers cannot do



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"The mother will replace everyone, but no one will replace the mother" - this profound sentence circulates in the network with moving photographs. Everyone provides: mothers, children, parents' portals. Every time I have the opportunity to see a new installment of this creation, I wonder about its meaning. Unnecessarily, this "quote" does not make sense. The mother cannot replace the child. She certainly shouldn't try. Time to come to terms with the facts: mother is "only" mother. This role should be enough for us.

What do we give the child?

I think it is not abusive to say that the child is the whole world to the mother. During the first years of a toddler's life, our world actually shrinks to the size of a small body. Everything else goes to the background. Carmine, we hug, support development, teach. It would seem that we are actually able to give the child everything and replace everyone.
We instill many positive values ​​in children, but not only. We also teach children what we feel: fear for their lives and health, excessive caution. We often forbid games and rehearsals that may result in injury. Here the equally irreplaceable and needed DAD enters the stage.

Thrill games

One and a half year old, who is under the care of his mother on the playground, runs between the sandpit and a safe swing. The same child under father's protection can do much more. I watched with horror a movie from the playground filmed two years ago - my little one (small, fragile, requiring protection and help) like an agile monkey climbs a ladder, overcomes an obstacle course composed of horizontal beams suspended on chains, slides neatly from a over two-meter slide, he flies the eagle, then scrambles back up the ladder with a shout of joy. It seemed to me that my daughter couldn't, she couldn't do it. It didn't occur to me to at least give her a try. The average mother will not allow a child to play in her opinion. Many of us, relieving, propping, making it easier and lurking just behind the child (for fear of falling over soon!), Gives him a clear signal: you can't, you can't do it, you will fall over. Dad - on the contrary! A bump, scratch, a bruised knee, or a common bruise are a trifle that can't ruin fun. Fathers usually inculcate children in their own beliefs, allow them to fall, and bring in their lives the dose of risk they need.

Little heroes

A few years ago, Polityka published an article about the shooting at an American school. Researchers looked at the behavior of event participants. Why were some children willing to hold the door to make it easier for their friends to escape, while the vast majority pushed ahead without being interested in anything other than their own safety? It turned out that the kids risking their own lives to help others had great, deep relationships with their fathers. Something to think about!

And you? Do you want to be the mother of the hero?

After deeper reflection, I say that I would prefer to be sure that in an emergency my child will focus on himself. That it would save at all costs what is most valuable to me in the world - myself. Therefore, with gratitude, I watch how irreplaceable dad gives a child what I would never have done.