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It is said that the child is not refused ... This saying in the context of being godfather is too often misunderstood. Consequently, the topic of choosing the two most important people immediately after parents is often associated with embarrassment, disappointment and unfulfilled expectations.
What does the church order?
Today, the role of godparents is often seen as a social and not a religious function. However, at its base it has a specific meaning.
A person who is a mother or godfather should be at least 16 years old, be a practicing Catholic, receive the Eucharist and be confirmed. The church also recommends choosing people who live a short distance from parents, so that they can influence the development of the toddler and participate actively in his life. In justified cases, you can get permission to choose for your child two godmothers or two godfathers, or to choose only one person who will be the mother or godfather.
How do parents make decisions?
It can be different. Parents still seem to hesitate between what tradition requires and what they think is appropriate.
In the past, a child was kept for baptism by members of its immediate family: the godmother was responsible for preparing the child's dress, and the father for buying the candle. This was dictated by practical considerations. In this way, parents decided on people who could provide child care and support in the event of their death. Today, more and more often, parents choose godparents from a group of other relatives, friends, or even if they do not know the right people: they decide on the so-called round-up, and even place an ad on the internet.
Godfather outside the family?
The effects can be different. For example, it is not uncommon to choose a godmother's fiance for her sister, who then turns out not to enter the family for various reasons and to break contact with her former beloved. Being godfather in such a situation becomes fictitious or forces embarrassing meetings with ex.
Choosing friends for godparents can also end differently. It is said that true friends remain close to us throughout our lives, but in practice whether they really are to us usually turns out to be the case ... In the case of conflict between family members, parents ensure a good atmosphere. They give an additional chance and motivation to meet and to prevent siblings from becoming extinct.
Godfather from the announcement?
With just a few mouse clicks, you can find ads for searching for a father or godmother on the internet. Desperation? Do you need
The ads are different. However, the most publicity was:
"This is not a joke, we do not expect gifts. We are looking for a godfather for our son (a brother cannot be a godfather because of his lack of marriage, we have no one else to ask). Baptism would take place on June 19 at 2pm in Krk (later dinner, dessert at the restaurant). The godfather may come with a companion. The only condition is providing a few days in advance a certificate from your parish that he can be the Godfather and of course free time on June 19 :). Please, give me unnecessary comments. "
Reasons for placing such ads? They are different ... This form of search is of course an extreme example, but it speaks a lot about the scale of the problem.
Place of residence: or where do godparents come from?
Today, families often live in different parts of the world. Sister or brother are abroad and visit the country once a year, and even less often. It is hard to expect that seeing a toddler only on holidays or his birthday, they will be able to make a concrete contribution to his development. Because there is nothing to charm: they will not have. When a child is small, he will probably not meet his aunt or uncle, and in time instead of a smile, he will greet them with an embarrassed face.
In this arrangement, many people consider the choice of godparents from further family members, but in such a way as to have a better chance that they will be able to participate in important events: the joy of observing the first tooth, the first steps, birthdays, or confessing from first dates. Often the biggest secrets are easier to reveal to your aunt or uncle than to parents ... When godparents live far away, unfortunately it is very difficult and most often impossible.
Good profession and money
There is another reason why godparents are chosen. Sometimes the motivation is money, which, thanks to wealthy godparents in a variety of forms (gifts, help in finding a job, influence, etc.) can receive a child. Many people in this way also distinguish lonely people, for example in their fifties, who for various reasons have little chance of starting a family. "Profit from such a godfather" or a godmother can be one: property inherited after the death of my aunt or uncle. Callous? Life writes many such stories.
Because it falls out?
Many people choose godparents, guided by tradition. He simply sees no other option and is afraid that if he does not follow what he used to do, his loved ones would be offended. Unfortunately, usually such motivation takes revenge sooner or later and makes parents, even if they do not admit it aloud, are disappointed with the earlier decision.
Character and worldview
Sticking to the most common choice: the decision to ask godparents, one more problem should be mentioned. Often, the siblings are very different from each other. He has a different temperament, way of being, and often a worldview. When we accept it, no problem. It is worse when we do not agree with the life choices of a sister or brother. Then we can have doubts about choosing godparents from our siblings and thus distinguish people from whom we would not like our child to follow the example. It is not without reason that in many environments nature is inherited from godfathers.
Therefore, before we choose the godparents, it is worth asking ourselves: do we like people whose candidacy we are considering? Do we want our children to learn from them? Rather, do we treat baptism and the choice of godparents as a rite that has little impact on everyday life?
And how did you choose the godparents? Did you have a problem with that? What did you pay attention to? What was the most important for you? Write!